SUMMER 1998

Issue No 16

Contents

• A Yawn in Your Ear (Editorial)
• World Service (News)
• It's Just a Perfect Gig
• Barry Winton's Not Quite Overnight Sensations Part 1
• The Brook Southampton
• Jimi Hendrix is Still Alive
• The Ascent of Mann
• Manfred Mann - Storyteller - The Noel in Sweden One 1993
• Mann Alive

The Noel in Sweden One (1993) (Manfred Mann - Storyteller)

"This is crap!" said Noel.
"What's wrong with it?" I said.
"It's fucking cold, that's what", said Noel,
and then I understood . . . six months were up and Noel was having his twice yearly, hormonal imbalance, and standing up for his rights!

Noel McCalla is a wonderful musician, a great live performer and also a warm naturally friendly open human being. However, twice a year this warm human being turns into a werewolf, and behaves like a complete dickhead. Noel naturally enough sees it somewhat differently. Noel suddenly feels that because he is the nice warm human being that he is, we don't respect him, we take him for granted and so Noel 'takes a stand' to remedy the situation. Now Noel will take a stand on anything, that happens to be happening. For example, he will arrive in a German department store for a free leather jacket, on the grounds that he can't afford one. To Noel taking a stand means digging his heels into a completely hopeless cause, such as this. What Noel hasn't quite grasped, is that when behaving like this the rest of us don't see him, as a noble chap, who knows his rights, and won't be pushed around, standing his ground in the face of adversity. We just think he's bit of a dick really, and as Noel said "it's fucking cold, that's what." I knew that Noel, was once again embarking on a campaign to protect his civil liberties, in this case it happened in an Indian restaurant in Sweden.

"Call the waiter over Noel and ask to have it heated".
"Tell him", I said, in an obviously futile and pathetic attempt to calm this bubbling, impending explosion.

"This is fucking ridiculous", was Noel's reasonable response.

I edged away from him, hoping that if I paid no attention, things might improve, and the group and crew continued our discussion on the influence of late etruscan poetry on urban 19th Century design, as rock groups often do!

Noel was now pushing his curry Pasanda around the plate and fuming away. His anger and resentment became a self fulfilling prophecy, because by now the curry was really cold.

Reason was leaving Noel at the speed of light, as he departed back in time to a more primitive and simple age, sometime before the iron age, when men were men and life was brutal. At the moment the innocent lamb Pasanda was the victim, as it was roughly moved around the plate but any moment now we knew we were in for a really embarrassing scene with the waiter, and sure enough it came.

Noel said "Fuck this", and then shouted in a loud and offensive voice and tone, "Excuse me pleeeze!"

I thought 'Oh God, here we go', it was at this point that the most achingly beautiful young Swedish girl, a waitress appeared, she was ¾ Cinderella and ¼ Marilyn Monroe, the sort of girl that instantly triggers male menopausal depression in male menopausal men, and could also bring to life a dead corpse. She turned to Noel, who was by now a large dreadlocked fuming rasta and said sweetly, with a hint of a lisp, "Can I help you sir?", or words to that effect. Noel moved from the Stone Age to the age of chivalry. Never has a swedish accent sounded more lovely. Noel immediately and without blinking, transformed himself into a large friendly version of a childhood cuddly teddy, (Paddington Bear), and said, "I thought the lamb was perhaps a bit tepid". She smiled attentively and beautifully, "But on reflection, it's probably that I am used to having curries on hot plates". She looked at him demurely, he continued, "Actually it's much nicer when it's coldish really". "I could have it heated for you if you are unhappy or dissatisfied?" She looked slightly unhappy herself at this prospect. "Oh God no, whatever gave you that idea" said Noel, "I just wanted a Beer, if that's ok".

The crisis was over, and as Noel tucked enthusiastically into a by now ice cold curry I thought, "Oh well, another peaceful six months before Noel's next explosion!"

Manfred Mann

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